It’s been almost a week since I’ve written something. I was feeling anxious because I expected to write every day. I expected the words to come as easily as they always do. So, I wrote. I uploaded it into my draft. I didn’t like it. I reworded and reworked it. I tried to move a paragraph but the cut/copy/paste wasn’t working correctly. First, it wouldn’t cut, then it wouldn’t paste, then it pasted multiple times. Then, while trying one more cut, the whole thing disappeared. I panicked. After an hour of trying to fix it, I walked away. Thought I’d type later. Then, while chopping vegetables, I looked up and promptly sliced a piece of my finger and fingernail off. Now, the big bandage on my finger is making it hard to type. Add to that a small dog pushing my arm in an attempt to get my hand off the keyboard and onto his head. My arm is full on dog slobber from his licking, trying to get my attention. Some things are just not meant to be.
I realized that I am going against the flow. Swimming against the current. And that is never a good thing to do. So, today, instead of writing, I am going to go play with my dog. I’m going to meditate. I’m not going to do what I think I should, but instead I will listen to my body and try to do what feels right. I will try to understand why I am feeling anxious, and I will do what I can to soothe the beast that’s gnawing at my gut. I will whisper kind words of love to my heart and my head. I will remember who I am. I am good. I am kind. I am love. See ya later.